How to Find a Therapist That's Right for You
Choosing a therapist is one of the most important decisions you can make for your mental health. The right therapist can help you feel truly seen, understood, and supported, while the wrong fit can leave you feeling more stuck than before.
As James Holmes, founder of Olip Therapy, I’ve spent years supporting clients through unwanted or unhelpful habits and behaviours, anxiety, trauma, depression, and life’s biggest challenges. Here’s my honest, practical guidance on how to find a therapist who is truly right for you.
The Most Important Factor: The Relationship
In my experience, the single most important thing is the therapeutic relationship. Techniques and qualifications matter, but the real healing happens when you feel safe, respected, and genuinely understood. You should feel comfortable being yourself - even when you’re struggling.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
From working with hundreds of clients, here are the top warning signs:
The therapist talks more than they listen
You feel judged or dismissed
They push a rigid agenda instead of working at your pace
Poor boundaries (e.g. checking phone during sessions or oversharing)
Vague promises of quick fixes or “cures”
A Real Client Story
One client came to OLIP after seeing three different therapists. She was highly functioning, successful, and struggling with anxiety and people-pleasing. The previous therapists were technically qualified, but she never felt truly heard. Within a few sessions using a combination of hypnotherapy and counselling, she finally felt safe enough to explore the deeper roots of her patterns. The difference was the fit.
What Makes OLIP Therapy Different
At OLIP Therapy, we specialise in an integrative approach, often combining hypnotherapy with counselling and, where appropriate, EMDR. This allows us to work with both the conscious mind (talking through experiences) and the subconscious mind (rewiring deep patterns). Many clients tell me this combination helps them make faster, deeper progress than traditional talk therapy alone.
Key Questions to Ask a Potential Therapist
During a discovery call, don’t be afraid to ask:
How do you usually work with [your issue, e.g. anxiety/trauma]?
What does a typical session look like?
How do you measure progress?
Are you available for sessions outside normal working hours?
What is your approach if we don’t seem to be making progress?
Common Mistakes People Make
Many people choose a therapist based only on location or price. Others stay with the wrong therapist for too long out of loyalty. Trust your gut: if it doesn’t feel right after 2–3 sessions, it’s okay to seek someone else.
Online vs In-Person
Both have value. Online therapy offers flexibility and comfort, while in-person can feel more containing for some. At OLIP Therapy we offer both, so you can choose what works best for you.
My Advice If You’re Feeling Nervous
Starting therapy can feel vulnerable. That nervousness is normal. The right therapist will understand this and help you feel safe from the very first conversation. Remember: you are not a burden - you are taking a brave step.
Ready to Find the Right Support?
You deserve a therapist who truly understands you and helps you move forward with compassion and expertise. At Olip Therapy, we offer a free initial consultation so you can see whether we’re the right fit - with no pressure or obligation. We provide flexible online and in-person sessions across the UK, including evenings and weekends.
Book your free initial consultation today and take the first step towards feeling understood and supported.
